“Who gives a fuck?! I can't tie my shoes, anyway”
Aglets are the little plastic things on the tips of your shoelaces. They are named for their inventor, Prof. Paul Aglet of Princeton University. In his memoirs, The World on a Shoelace, Aglet describes the invention of the Aglet as his crowning achievement. Indeed the money from the lucrative Aglet patents soon went to the poor Professor's head. An ill-advised investment in November Pumpkin Futures left Aglet penniless. He hung himself with a pair of shoelaces on December 14, 1956.