Agnostic

From Encyclopædia Dæmonica
Jump to: navigation, search
Official symbol of the Agnostic Church
Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Agnosticism.


Agnostic refers to the belief that there can be no proof either that God exists or that God does not exist.


History of Agnosticism[edit]

"Agnosticism", also known as "World's shittest get-out clause", was a term first coined by Scottish lecturer Pope Benedict XVI in 1791. It is based around the idea that we are far too intelligent to make any judgement on the existence of a being that we don't know exists.

It is based on a combination of schools of philosophy, including laziness, meditation, and laziness. What most do not realise is that it was actually originally a joke to piss the Christians off, but, sadly, some took it too far.

Nowadays agnosticism is a respected philosophy and is followed by over five people across the UK, and around four across the world.

"This success can only be put down to my charming leader, Mr Blair", claims Foreign Chancellor Gordon Brown. "Mr Blair has helped me make this school perfect, but sadly, wait...I mean I have helped him, shit, no that came out wrong..." Mr Brown was forgiven as it was appreciated that speaking with a gun to one's head is difficult.

Symbol[edit]

There was some argument as to what the symbol of the agnostic faith would be. Many claimed that the best would be a 50 plus foot tall flaming skeleton with a black B.C. Rich guitar. Also popular was a red demon with glowing yellow eyes, raising two drumstick into the air as if relishing the moment before violent impact. The runner up, by a significant margin, was a sexy, tattooed rendition of a female devil. Sadly, the sexual innuendo present in this mascot led to its eventual failure at the hands of more liberal members who wished to be politically correct. The eventual winner was a simple white question mark on a black background. The black appealed to everyone, and the question mark was a shoe in as soon as its meaning was explained. The question mark is a fundamental symbol to the agnostic. It clearly states the position of agnostics everywhere: "Why would you even QUESTION the fact that death metal is the greatest form of music ever?"