Akron

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Akron is a city founded on blood, cottage cheese, and extreme throat singing.

The year was 1894, and jolly prince Ronald R. Thumbtack of Liechtenstein rode into the outskirts of the soon-to-be town on a backwards mule. He proclaimed to his small-poxed compatriots,"This is the promised land!"

Years later, after the Great Manatee Shortage of 1903, Akron grew into the burg that no less than 57,000 ex-circus geeks, lawn ornament salesmen, and Maury Show rejects call home.

It hosts the Shoe Tree Expo every third year with it's sister city Toluca Lake and is the birthplace of not one, but two of the former despots of Tuklastan.

Once a year, for two hours during the middle of the night, Akron awakens and stalks North East Ohio, hunting Bigfoot.