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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Angola.

This article may have been censored by His Excellency, Robert Mugabe.

What's that? you don't agree with my official policies? You're trying to undermine
Zimbabwe and her precious democracy, aren't you? TRAITORS TO THE REVOLUTION!


Angola is a country in south west Barnsley.


It is officially known by two names: "The Undemocratic Anti-Photographic Monarchy of Angola" - due to its unpopular foreign policy of anti-photography; and the more traditional "Angolish Empire of Flying Snakes". Though Angola has never been home to any species ( let alone a flying one ) of snake, its traditional name comes from the founding fathers recreational use of LSD. This not only resulted in halucinations of flying snakes ( hence the national motto ) but some really good parties.

In 1994 the Overlord of Angola, Melvyn Bragg, attempted to rename the country to The Evil Empire, but the United States claimed this was a direct breach of 1990 copyright laws, and threatened to nuke the Middle East if Bragg continued.


Angola was founded in 1990 by Mike in what will be remembered as one of the greatest acts of disobeying one's parents. Mike, a 24 year-old cinema employee, frustrated by his mothers constant nagging about cleaning his room and her "as long as you live under my roof, you'll follow my rules"-ness, declared his rooms indipendance from the rest of the house. What was originally recognized as an "autonomis region" of the main house, eventually became a full state in its own right when it was officially recognized by Dave ( Mike's best friend. )

The history of this small one-room nation continues with Mike's accidental annexation of what was then considered "Rhodenisia" - which combined with his one-room state to become present-day Angola. Durring Mike's weekly ritual of bidding on used hooker-panties at Police auction he mistakely bid on what he thought was a picture of Rhodenisia. It actually turned out that he bought Rhodenisia ( for 1 Rhodenisian Dollar ), and was even more upset to find out that he didn't even get to keep the picture ( an angry which developed into his now famous anti-photographic beliefs )!

Mike died a few months latter leaving the legacy of an anti-photographic Angola, and the only state to not only legalize LSD, but require it in order to operate a vehicle.


Angola's main exports are cubist art, and post-cartographical maps, bought mainly by the United States. Angola doesn't import anything becuase it's so easy to steal things from neighbouring Khazakhistan.


Angola's official_languages are Portuguese, Soviet, Internet-Speake. All of which have very funny story behind them. LOL!

Fun Facts![edit]

Angola is probably most famous for its part in The War of Photographic Aggression, particularly it's invasion of Nazi Germany.

List of famous Angolans[edit]

  • Melvyn Bragg
  • Paula Radcliffe
  • Harold Bishop