Angola

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Angola.


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This article may have been censored by His Excellency, Robert Mugabe.

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Angola is a country in south west Barnsley.

Name[edit]

It is officially known by two names: "The Undemocratic Anti-Photographic Monarchy of Angola" - due to its unpopular foreign policy of anti-photography; and the more traditional "Angolish Empire of Flying Snakes". Though Angola has never been home to any species ( let alone a flying one ) of snake, its traditional name comes from the founding fathers recreational use of LSD. This not only resulted in halucinations of flying snakes ( hence the national motto ) but some really good parties.

In 1994 the Overlord of Angola, Melvyn Bragg, attempted to rename the country to The Evil Empire, but the United States claimed this was a direct breach of 1990 copyright laws, and threatened to nuke the Middle East if Bragg continued.

History[edit]

Angola was founded in 1990 by Mike in what will be remembered as one of the greatest acts of disobeying one's parents. Mike, a 24 year-old cinema employee, frustrated by his mothers constant nagging about cleaning his room and her "as long as you live under my roof, you'll follow my rules"-ness, declared his rooms indipendance from the rest of the house. What was originally recognized as an "autonomis region" of the main house, eventually became a full state in its own right when it was officially recognized by Dave ( Mike's best friend. )

The history of this small one-room nation continues with Mike's accidental annexation of what was then considered "Rhodenisia" - which combined with his one-room state to become present-day Angola. Durring Mike's weekly ritual of bidding on used hooker-panties at Police auction he mistakely bid on what he thought was a picture of Rhodenisia. It actually turned out that he bought Rhodenisia ( for 1 Rhodenisian Dollar ), and was even more upset to find out that he didn't even get to keep the picture ( an angry which developed into his now famous anti-photographic beliefs )!

Mike died a few months latter leaving the legacy of an anti-photographic Angola, and the only state to not only legalize LSD, but require it in order to operate a vehicle.

Economy[edit]

Angola's main exports are cubist art, and post-cartographical maps, bought mainly by the United States. Angola doesn't import anything becuase it's so easy to steal things from neighbouring Khazakhistan.

Language[edit]

Angola's official_languages are Portuguese, Soviet, Internet-Speake. All of which have very funny story behind them. LOL!

Fun Facts![edit]

Angola is probably most famous for its part in The War of Photographic Aggression, particularly it's invasion of Nazi Germany.

List of famous Angolans[edit]

  • Melvyn Bragg
  • Paula Radcliffe
  • Harold Bishop