Apples and oranges
"Apples and oranges" was a short study performed by Albert Einstein. It sought to disprove popular opinion that apples and oranges were one and the same. This study was controversial at the time, and eventually caused Einstein to be on the recieving end of a double-barreled shotgun, wielded by a disgruntled fast food worker.
"Apples and oranges are not to be confused with one another. For, as you know, an apple is not an orange. Nor is an orange an apple. Though some apples are orange, oranges are most certainly not apple."
Q & A, a.k.a. "The Scientist Mercilessly Smacketh Down Those Who Question His Knowledge"
- But aren't oranges, as apples are, fruits?
Ahh, but recent evidence has clearly proven that oranges are actually closely related to the three-toed sloth, which is clearly not a fruit, despite many shared qualities between the two.
- Isn't it true that oranges, just like apples, exist?
This could not be further from the truth; apples have not been proven to exist, therefore they do not. Chalk one up for science!
Although this man puts up a fine argument, I have beaten him in Counter-Strike many times, therefore I have the bigger penis. Which means I win. LOL, pwned.
- I'm blind, and I can't really tell between apples and oranges!
"As all questions have been answered in a polite and completely factually accurate manner, I can safely conclude that apples are NOT oranges. This is correct, for I am a scientist. Thank you."
As you can tell, Einstein was completely correct, and a few months after the publishing of this monumental work, Einstein was posthumously awarded a Nobel Prize for Dumbfuckery, the highest honor presented to any single person in the world.