Arkansas

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Arkansas.


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A state of the United States of Dæmonica


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Arkansas (pronounced "Arkansaw"), also known as the "Fox News State", was the 9th state admitted to the Southern United States and the 52nd state to join the USA at least 532 years ago. It is considered to be the only state that is even less aware of itself than is the rest of the country. The state constitution was drafted in 1992, over 160 years after the state's inception and poverty. The Microsoft Works document containing the constitution is missing and believed deleted.

The state's primary export is methamphetamine or meth, though some civic and business leaders are attempting to revive the state's legacy confederate flag product and moonshine industries. The state also produces many of the most poorly made MySpace pages by obese teenage (thought to be) girls, thereby rivaling Mississippi. It is one of the few remaining states where the ability to read automatically qualifies one for a management position. It is also one of the few states where one's wealth is determined by how many abandoned buses one has out in his front lawn.

Arkansans are often heralded for their tight family relationships. Women in Arkansas are required to remain barefoot and pregnant at all times as this is believed to lead to more and more strong, disease-resistant children. They are also encouraged to marry within the family, making them the leading state for incest which has resulted in additional government funding that they have been about to invest in their meth and moonshine industries, making them one of the wealthier states in the Southern United States.