From Encyclopaedia Daemonica
Jump to: navigation, search

Facebook Message: "The Borg have sent you an Assimilation, with the following message: We are the Borg. Resistance is Futile. You will be assimilated. Accept Reject Ignore Block this application."

"I am Teal'c of Borg. You will indeed be assimilated."

"I am Berlusconi of Borg, and would I like to stick my tubule into you!?"

"I am Bruce Forsyth of Borg. Nice to assimilate you, to assimilate you, nice!"

"I am France of Borg. We surrender *cough* I mean you will be assimilated!"

"I am Russell Brand of Borg. I assimilated your grand-daughter!"

"I am Jonathan Woss of Borg. Wesistance is futile. You will be assimilated. By the way, can you lend me £1.5 million?"

"I am Gordon Brown of Borg. Trying to save the economy is futile. Your bank will be assimilated."

"I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. Make it so, number1."

"I am <insert name here> of Borg. Assimilation is futile. I mean, Resistance is futile. You won't be assimilated. I mean, you WILL be assimilated. Man, I suck at this."

"I am Bob the Builder of Borg. Can you be assimilated? YES YOU CAN! Is resistance futile? YES IT IS!

"I am President Obama of Borg. Can you be assimilated? YES YOU CAN! Is resistance futile? YES IT IS!

"Easy now, rude-boy! I iz Ali G of Borg, and I iz a-hassilimate you into da Borg Massiv. Booyakasha!"

"I am Lyndsay Lohan of Borg. I can't be a whore anymore. Apparently PMSing at the tabloids is futile."

"I am Bender the robot. As you all should know I am part of the borg because, I, Bender am too awesome to be anything less than a collective."

"We are Microsoft of Borg. Windows encountered a problem whilst assimilating you, click below to send us an error report."

"I am Tony Blair of Borg. My government believes in Assimilation, annihilation, and Assassination. We are tough on Resistance, and tough on the causes of Resistance."

"We are the repeating Borg. We repeat ourselves. You will be Assimilated. You will be Assimilated. You will be Assimilated.

"I am James T. Kirk of Borg. KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN will be assimilated."

"I am George Bush of Borg. Do not misunderestimate us."

"I am G-Red. I am a cyborg, and coincidentally, also of borg. Feel my assimilation!"

"I am Jesse Jackson of Borg. Resistance is moot."

"I am Neo of Borg. Do not resist. That is futile. Instead...only try to realize the truth...there is no resistance."

"I am Al Gore of Borg. You will be environated."

"Hi, it's a-me, Mario of Borg! You will be jumped on - um, assimilated! Resistance is futile!"

"I am Homer Simpson of Borg. You will be..... oooH! Doughnuts!"

"I am Popeye of Borg. You will be askimilgrated."

"I am Elmer Fudd of Borg. Pwepawe to be aswimiwated."

"My name a Borat Sagdiyev of the Borg. I catch the nanoprobes on "Feast of Shurik" from when I make Assimilation with my Sister! Very nice!"

"I am Strong Bad of Borg. DELETED!!!. . .I mean, ASSIMILATED!!!"

"I am Porky Pig of Borg. You will be as-s-sim, as-s-sim, oh forget it".

"I am Hugh of Borg. We want to assimilate Troi. Geordi is our friend. He can watch."

"Yoda of Borg, I am. Futile, resistance is. Assimilate you, I will."

"I am Vanna White of Borg. R_sist_nc_ is futil_."

"I am Alex Trebek of Borg. You will be assimilated in the form of a question."

"I am n00b of Borg. You will laugh at our pitiful attempts to assimilate you."

"I am Barney of Borg. Being assimilated is fun."

"I, am, Kirk, of, Borg, I, will, assimilate, you."

"We are Walmart of Borg. You will be assimilated at low, low prices!"

"Daffy Duck of Borg "Yooouuuuuuuuuuu'rrrrrre Irrelevant!""

"Borg, James Borg. Vodka martini, gin is irrelevant."

"I am Mr. Rogers of Borg, can you say assimilate?"

"I am dyslexia of Gorb. Your ass will be laminated."

"I am Darth Vader of Borg. I am your father. And your mother. And your uncle's college roomate. And your brother's 4th grade homeroom teacher. Resistance is futile."

"I am Angus MacGyver of Borg. I will assimilate you using nothing but a wire coathanger, a teaspoon, a gun with no bullets in it, some glue and this shoelace. Resistance is futile.

"We are Zerg of Borg. Prepare to be zerg rushed then assimilated. Resistance is futile. KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE..."

"I am Doctor McCoy of Borg. Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not an assimilator!"

"I am Bjorn of Borg. You will lose this match. Resistance is futile."

"We are the Smurfs. Resistance is smurf. You will be smurfed."

"We are Interpol of Borg. You will be interpolated."

"I am Shakespeare of Borg. To be assimilated or not to be assimilated, resistance is futile."

"I am Pentium of Borg. Arithmetic is irrelevant. Division is futile. You will be approximated."

"I am Smith of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is inevitable."

"I am Green Giant of Borg. You will be assimilated into quality vegetables."

"I am Ronald McDonald of Borg. Your happy meal will assimilate you for me."

"I am IKEA of Borg. You will be assimilated, tagged, stored and given a manual."

"I am the doctor of Borg, This isn't part of my programming; I'm a Doctor, Not an assimilator"

"I am Mewtwo of Borg, The greatest Pokemon on earth, and I will assimilate all who oppose me; Humans and Pokemon alike. Resistance is Futile!"

"I am Pope Benedict XVI of Borg. You gotta be fair, or be assimilated. Being square is futile."

"I am Frodo of Borg. Your individuality will be assimilated in the fires of Mount Doom. You will be ringwraithed. Resistance is futile."

"I am CATS of Borg. All your base is assimilated by us. Resistance is futile make your time."

"I am Chuck Norris of Borg. You will be roundhouse-assimilated. Resistance is futile."

"Look... at me. I am, William... Shatner, of Borg. Any, resistance, will be, futile."

"We are Uncyclopedia of Borg. Wikipedia is futile. Jimbo Wales will be assimilated."

"I am Pedant of Borg. You will be assimilated, unless of course you are plucky, heroic and display uncommon ingenuity, or are a member of Species 8472, or are a major character in either Voyager or TNG with quite a bit of your contract left to run. Besides which, Assimilation is no guarantee that you won't be un-assimilated later on. Likewise it's probably a bit of a stretch to say "Resistance is Futile", although statistically it will be true in the majority of cases. So, basically, if you're a hot blonde like Seven of Nine, ignore all this stuff about assimilation and resistance. However, if you are someone whom nobody cares about, I do hope you like cybernetic implants!!"

"We are the repeating Borg. We repeat ourselves. You will be Assimilated. You will be Assimilated. You will be Assimilated.

"We are the King of All Cosmos of Borg. Hold on a minute. What is this assimilation? If we had invented assimilation, we would have made it larger and more colourful. We must have been too busy assimilating this, that and the other thing too. Really, the Prince needs to learn more about assimilation. How about assimilating a Katamari this wide in this much time? Assimilate with your whole heart, Prince! ROYAL RAINBOW! Resistance is Futile.

"We are the Spanish Inquisition of Borg! We have just one thing to say: Resistance is Futile! You will be Assimi - we have two things to say: Resistance is Futile! You will be assimilated! Otherwise you will be destr - we have three things, three things to say: Resistance is Futile, you will be assimilated, otherwise you will be destroyed by our massive fire-power. Your lives and your cultures will become part of our Collect- four things! Four things to say! I'll go out and come in again, shall I?"

"My name is Inigo Montoya of Borg. You killed my father. Prepare to be assimilated."

"Dja mon, I am Bob Marley of dem Borgs, mon! Resisting dem weeds is futile, now, an' prepare for assmmimilation! ::puff puff::"

"I am daaaalek borg. Assimilate! Assimilate! Assimilate! Assimilaaaaaaaate (...)"

"Elmo is Elmo of borg, you will tickle... um, be assimilated. But first,how about a hug?"

"We are the borg, and you have been chosen to play on Who wants to be an assimalater?. Answer 15 consecutive questions and win a chance to design the next method of assimalation!"

"Uh, I am Grodd of Borg. Uh, I will execute plan 66 to assimilate you. Uh, resistance is uh, futile."


"I Borg BB. Miniluv remark assimilation doubleplusgood. Resistance crimethink."

"I am toadstool of borg. Sorry borg, but the borg queen is in another borg cube"

"I am Microsoft Windows of Borg. Prepare to bought out and assimilated. All ipods will be destroyed, and google will never work again. Resistance is futile."

"I am Pokey of Borg. You will be assimilated, loser! Spankety, spankety, spankety. Resistance is Futile."

"I am Jehova's Witness of Borg... You will be saved! You will be Assimilated! The end of the World is nigh, so you will be Assimilated!"

"I am SPARTAN 117 of borg, I will kick your ass and assimilate what is left."

(In response to the above statement.) "I am 10 year old Halo fanboy of Borg. You will be bitched at.


"I am George W. Bush of Borg, you will be "liberated", opinions are futile."

"| @m 1337 pwn3r 0f b0rg, j00 wi|| b3 pwnt/@[email protected]"

"I am Draco Malfoy of Borg. You'll Be Assimilated next.. You MUDBLOODS!!!!"

"I am Steve Jobs of Borg. Microsoft is irrelevant. iResistance is futile. You will be iSimilated."

"I am Flavor Flav of Borg! FLAVOR FLAAAAV!!!! (Translation: You will be assimilated, Resistance is futile)"

"Bluh blah Rabbid bluh ba Borg. Bluh bluh bah blah buh assimilated. Resistance blah buh bluh buh ba! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"We are Windows Vista of Borg. You will be.... computer is shutting down."

"We are British of Borg. Would you like a cup of tea with your assimilation?"

"I am Borg of Borg. You will be assimilated, then assimilated."

"We are Norton Antivirus of Borg. We were unable to prevent a virus that occurred during assimilation."

"We are public transport of Borg. Please expect severe delays whilst waiting to be assimilated"

"We are Satellite Navigation of Borg. Turn left at the next power node to be assimilated.

"I am Buzz Lightyear of Borg. To infinity and assimilation!"

"We are the NHS of Borg.We are sorry for the delay, we will contact you when you are due for assimilation."

"We are double yellow lines of Borg, park on us and your car will be assimilated"

"We are the Valenta Veg of Borg. We will get all of the valentas and assimilate them!"

"We are MS-DOS of Borg. Would you care to (A)ssimilate, (R)esist, or (Q)uit?"

"We are MotoRAZR of Borg. You will be assimilated. Memory space is futile."

"We are South Park of Borg. We will assimilate Kenny."

"We are the IRS of Borg. You should receive your assimilation in 6 to 8 weeks."


"I am Jeremy Clarkson of Borg. Some say nanoprobes are injected into your body. Some say resistance is futile. All we know is, it's called assimilation."

"We are Muslims of the Borg. You will be assimilated... After we take a few minutes to threaten you with our religion and/or gulit you into converting"

"We are Soulja Borg. Yoooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu will be assimilated, ho."

"I am Mr. KENNEDY!... KENNEDY! of the Borg... Borg! You will be assimilated... ASSIMILATED! Resistance is FUTILE!... FUTILE!


"I am Imelda Marcos of Borg. Prepare your shoes for assimilation. But only if you have size 7. Resistance is futile.

"I am Galder of the Dimmu Borgir. You will be made to endure my stupid faces.

"I am Bene Gesserit of Borg. You will not resist. Resistance is futile. Resistance is the little death that brings total obliteration. You will face your resistance. You allow it to pass over and through you. Where the resistance has gone there will be nothing. Only assimilation will remain."

"I am Kefka of Borg. You will be... Ahem! There's SAND on my BORG CUBE!"

"I am Spongeborg Cubepants of Borg Bottom. Jellyfish prepare to be assimilated!"

"I am Goku of the Borg. You will be intimidated and humiliated. Resistance is futile. We are OVER 9000!

"I am Bill Clinton of Borg. I did not assimilate this woman...Miss Lewinsky."

"I am King Harkinian of Borg. MAH BOI!!! assimilation is what all true warriors strive for, Dinner is irrelevant, enough my Cube sails in the morning."

"I am Morshu the Shopkeeper of Borg. Assimilation, enhancement, RAISING OF QUALITY OF LIFE? You want it? Its yours, my friend. As long as you have enough Rubies."

" We are cybus cybermen of Borg. every citizen will receive a free assimilation."

"I am He-man of Borg. in today's story Elana tried to join the Borg collective. anytime you get assimilated your taking a very big chance your gambling with your emotions maybe even your individuality.Assimilation doesn,t make your problems go away they just create more. oh crap I'm a Borg."

"I am Cd-i Mario of Borg. If you need instructions on how to Be assimilated check out the enclosed instruction book."

"I am a reconsiderer of Borg. is it too late to get my individuality back."

"We are protesters of Borg. what do we want? Assimilation! when do we want it? immediately."

"I am Cd-i judge of Borg. Individuality is irrelevant you know."

"We are Disney of Borg. You will be animated. Dreamworks is futile."

"I am T of Borg, sucker. I assimilate the fool who tries to take what's mine."

"What's that? You're Sooty of Borg? Is resistance futile? You're assimilating nothing, you naughty bear."