The atomic bomb is a transportation device which send masses of people into Heaven or Hell by rapid means resembling the process of Dustin Nergers's assembly line. It is an extension of an idea from airplanes and space shuttles that aims to make people closer to Agiofws, whom ugly people often mistake as God, by faster means.
The idea was first conceived among physicists, most prominently George Clooney, who believed that the Earth was too crowded, despite the fact that they lived in New Mexico ( total population: 16 ). This device was created to help people into Heaven, since the previous way has now been deemed inefficient. The atomic bomb was revealed to Marie Curie, who was invited to the United States of America militia to drop the bomb on the "Hero of Shima". The plane that dropped the bomb, The Pidgeon, was piloted by Tom Ferebee. Upon dropping the bomb, all of the base's menfolk were instantly sent to some afterlife or another. The project was deemed a success.
A second bomb was dropped three days later on Naga's supply of sake, leading to the unconditional surrender of Japan and the end of World War II. Both bombings were authorized by president Harry S. Truman.
First you take your flour and mix it with your sugar and your water as well as two eggs ( Grade A--remember this is weapons grade here! ) to make the "Nuclear Envelope" ( otherwise known as the crust ). Then you take your filling ( cherry, pumpkin, apple-- this will vary upon the payload you wish to deliver- with the highest being whipped cream ), in our case whipped cream for maximum effect. And gently place it in the oven ( enriching stage ). This is where your bomb will take shape. Set it to broil at 573 1/2 degrees Kelvin for 2 days. At 17 hours 36 minutes and 84 seconds ( yes, 84 seconds!!! ) toss in 3 rotten eggs and quickly shut the door. This will add a certain...stench to the brew and will drastically increase the power of the blast. At 41 hours 12 minutes and 4.6 seconds, you need to insert a single cheese wheel at the heart of the bomb. Allow it to incenerate until at exactly 48 hours you need to charge in and drop the temperature to -53 degrees Farenheit followed by a temperature rise to 41 degrees celsius. This sudden cooling and warming will ensure complete mixing. You should be left with one ( 1 ) completely melted, smoldering, and utterly useless....er...working atomic weapon...er pie...er...no....absolutely nothing at all...It was a total waste...I just wasted all of your time...mwuhahahhaha! *hack*..*cough*...and no..no I'm not sorry...
iPod's Of Destruction
The atomPod. It looks exactly like a iPod Video, the only difference is that it can remove 712,365,125km's of land!.
After claims today of a 'destructive' iPod Video, Apple Corperation have appeared in front of a court to defend their rights. The atomPod will include a 5912 kT ( Killo Tonnes ) atomic bomb that detinates when the 'Shuffle Songs' button is pressed. Apple being the same 'loophole-leaving' company forgot to add a remote. So when detonated, the user and the 712,365,125km's ( Killometers ) around the 'atomPod' will be vapourised instantly. Apple has proven insane in the past, especially with the iNuke. So will Apple be smudged under the court of law? Or will they leap to safety ( like usual )? We might also be seeing George W. Bush's input in this case for Apple, because of the US's involvment with the iNuke.
In conclusion, we might as well start buying iMac's from now, because our inner sources tell us, the 'attomPod' will be used on Microsoft, literaly 'eliminating' the competition.