A newborn or baby is the very young offspring of a human or other mammal, designed by Winston Churchill in his own image. They are the products of birth, which, research shows, stings a little. Babies have exactly the same features as adult human beings, but are approximately half the size. If they don’t have the same features as a fully grown human, they tend to cause worry.
Babies are an easy way to paint a room, provided they are thrown hard enough.
Babies lack the necessary motor skills to propel themselves via two legs, and therefore crawl or roll to get from place to place when unaccompanied by an avian delivery animal. In recent years jet propulsion has become a popular third option.
Although cries usually range between 190 and 300 decibels, cries of over 500 decibels have probably been recorded. If so, the general public will be in the dark about it for a while, as in extreme cases, the sound produced by a baby causes large amounts of internal hemmhoraging and harmonic resonance, responsible for failures in electronic equipment, including tape recorders. Michael Jackson's father soon picked up on the idea and founded a well-known and revered murder syndicate known as the Jackson Five.
Baby flesh is said by many to taste like chicken, although, as a noted gourmand, Dr Spock himself often likened it to lightly poached quail in a subtle vinegar dressing. It has also been reported that babies taste delicious with chocolate and whipped cream.
Hillary Clinton is known to have a penchant for eating "baby burgers."