Battle of Crawford

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Those obsessed with so-called-experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Battle of Crawford.

The Battle of Crawford took place in late 2007. Fresh off the Fall of Washington, the Mexican military sought to continue the momentum and fully topple the American Government by killing President George W. Bush. Mobilizing the entire Mexican air force, the Mexican Government were desperate for an experienced leader to head off this force. Without Pancho, who had been killed in the Battle of Corpus Christi, they turned to Cindy Sheehan, who had spent much of her past 2 years on the streets Crawford. She graciously accepted the job, and the force was prepared to strike by December 8th, 2007.

While Texas had achieved land superiority over the Mexicans with the help of Chuck Norris, this would be entirely circumvented by performing an Air Strike. But the Texas Air National Guard was fully prepared to face the impending assault head-on. George W. Bush agreed to lend his fighter pilot skills to the guard, and led the division into combat. The Mexican air force met with the National Guard over Crawford, and immediately began to fire taco enriched weapons and jalapeno missiles at the defending F-22's. But the tide quickly turned after the National Guard began to return fire. Several dog fights began, including a decisive one in which Cindy Sheehan engaged George W. Bush's plane directly. Dodging the spicy rocket, he made a nose dive and soon was behind Cindy Sheehan's aircraft. Firing his only missile left, George W. Bush hit Cindy Sheehan's left wing, upon which her plane began spinning out of control towards Mexico, where it went on to crash land directly on top of former Mexican president, Vicente Fox, killing him and Cindy instantly.

Elsewhere in the battle, all but 4 Mexican F-5's were shot down, the 4 remaining abandoned the mission. The Texas Air National Guard had unsuccessfully defended Crawford which was destroyed.Plans for a powerful superweapon that could kill millions was in the making.