Bed

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Bed.
Hey, Shrek! Get a bed!

A bed. Everybody has one, from those who own a solid-gold four-poster with a canopy, carved ebony backboard, and a built-in fridge, to those who own either a comfy cement sidewalk near the steam grate or the south end of a cardboard box.

Beds have been around since the first lifeform laid back, put its feet (or flippers, or pseudopodia) up, and relaxed into something similar to sleep. What was directly under them when this happened automatically became a bed. Soil, leaves, or sand mostly. These first beds were hard, because they were laid on the ground or were the ground. Insects, mice, and snakes would wait patiently as you moved the twigs and leaves around, and then share the bed with the sleeper. So many things were crawling over everyone that somewhere along the line this situation became intolerable, and someone finally thought up the idea of sleeping just slightly above the ground on a piece of furniture. Thus came about. . .

The first "real" bed[edit]

You saw it on Antiques Roadshow, and you loved it in Archeology Magazine. The first real bed was made from wooden logs with some folded Mastodon skin laid on top. It even had a pillow, although some people called its pillow a badger. Pretty fancy for its day, and the envy of the whole neighborhood. This started the trend.

Imitators and investors quickly began making beds from the skins of large pandas, giant ground sloths, and even weight-challeneged squids. Anything oversized would do. People soon ran out of wooly mammoths and giant sloths and such, and started making beds out of bear and deerskins, which were a dime a dozen. Then, to add further insult to Mother Nature's injury, they began stuffing the beds with duck feathers and goose down, thus causing a run on ducks and geese which has continued to this day.

Well, this went on for hundreds of thousands of years, and so many beds were made for people who were relatvely short-lived that eventually billons of beds sat four-legged on floors all around the planet. Beds in which everyone who's ever lived spent at least seven or eight hours a day in. And the biggest surprise of all is that out of all these billions of beds only, what, like three? maybe four? are remembered for their good deeds. These are your typical. . .