Being drunk

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about alcoholism.
GOVERNMENT WARNING: According to the Surgeon General, the use of alcohol impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems.

Not a problem

~ Tamia

Usually a bigger concern for women than for men, the being drunk problem can best be described as a result of mistaken identity. Whatever the exact reason, the problem is that people mistake you for a drink, and try to partake of you.

One common cause is being named after a drink, or having a drink named after you. For instance Shirley Temple and Pepsi are both reputed to suffer from this condition.

Common symptoms include people putting their lips on you and trying to take a sip, which may or may not be enjoyable.

Also said by Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect.