Benjamin Franklin

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Benjamin Pierce Wanker Gates Franklin (January 17, 1706 - Now, man) was one of the most decadent, flashy and all-around electrifying figures in early American history. A well-known politician and scientist in his own time, inventor of the Time Machine and first man on the moon, he also invented Rock and Roll and had an extensive and shadowy criminal empire that stretched from upper New York down to West Virginia. Later in life, however, Franklin reformed. He became what some now believe to be a deity - watching over the world with his spectacles, large frame, and mostly bald head and making sure that all is well in the world. Unfortunately, those who do not have faith in him are likely to perish early in life.