Billy Mays

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The legendary Billy Mays (August 3, 1722 - April 4, 1997) was a loud mouth, entrepreneur, advertising genius, clutch of eggs, rogue Diners Club member, antithetic Pomeranian and smarm dispenser, known in North America for his brash style of peddling useless products on television.


HI! BILLY MAYS HERE, INTRODUCING A BRAND NEW PRODUCT! ARE YOUR COMMERCIALS LACKING STYLE? ARE YOUR SCRIPTS NOT POLISHED? WELL I HAVE THE PERFECT PRODUCT FOR YOU! MYSELF! THAT'S RIGHT! I'M LOOKING FOR A JOB AND YOU CAN HIRE ME TO DO YOUR COMMERCIAL FOR JUST 12 EASY PAYMENTS OF $1,399.99!