Boris Spassky

From Encyclopaedia Daemonica
Jump to: navigation, search
Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Boris Spassky.

Boris Spassky was the 3rd Soviet Premier. He succeeded Tigran Petrosian, after his murder in 1953. Spassky was a reformer, and innovator, a rarity in those days. He created such programs as the Re-education camps, and the Soviet Gulag. He thawed relations with the USA, as well as the world.

Political Infighting[edit]

As Soviet Premier Tigran Petrosian was looking for his replacement, there was much argument between the two most popular candidates, Spassky and the relatively young Anatoly Karpov. During one of their debates in 1953, Karpov tried to finish Spassky off with his razor gauntlets, but missed, killing then premier Tigran Petrosian. Karpov retreated to exile, leaving Spassky to become Premier.

Premier[edit]

Spassky was a popular leader, easing off the old policy of abrupt and random execution. He also instituted a policy of propaganda television shows, informing those in the USSR that they were the best in the world.

US Relations[edit]

Spassky is well known for his close relations with the US. As Tom Cruise was President at the time, their policies were relatively similar. During this time, the USSR received hundreds of billions of dollars to advance their nuclear program. Tom Cruise received a lot of criticism, but nonetheless continued.

Boris Spassky also had several unfortunate run-ins with his despised American counterpart, Bobby Fischer.

Boris was teaching Dukakis a lesson in how to drive a tank on the White House lawn when he accidentally blew up the United Kenyans of Washington and their lobbyists. Barry From DC reached for a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken in order to shoe the president but he missed and a piece of fried chicken hit the tank. A mighty all-American eagle swooped down onto the tank and started eating fried chicken.

Death[edit]

Spassky was mentally ill for the final 5 years of his life, which many believe was the reason he named Anatoly Karpov his successor, as they were sworn enemies before this.

In 1964, Spassky was reported to have peacefully passed into history. However, some conspiracy theorists speculate he was assassinated by the Counter Revolutionary Bobby Fischer.