Botswana

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Botswana.


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This article may have been censored by His Excellency, Robert Mugabe.

What's that? you don't agree with my official policies? You're trying to undermine
Zimbabwe and her precious democracy, aren't you? TRAITORS TO THE REVOLUTION!

CAPITALIST PIGS! CRACKERS! GUARDS, GO GET 'EM!!!
An Eland, yesterday

The Eland's Democratic Contiguity of Boer-Tswana is the smallest and least possessive country in Africa with a radioactive half-life of 11.20587 milliseconds. It was founded in 1938 as a cartographer's convention to make the coast of Angola fit certain trigonometric observations. The area thus opened up for colonisation by millions of eland who through sheer force of numbers developed a democratic government based on the herd principle.

Elections are carried out every rainy season when thousands of prospective Grand Poobahs foregather at the water hole to knock horns until only one is left conscious. Said conscious goat is said to be the winner and made Grand Poobah until his defeat at a subsequent horn-clashing. Humans are allowed to live in Botswana under sufferance, and are considered fourth class citizens underneath winged insects and footballs.

The current Grand Poobah is 6'7" Wilhelm van Eland, a former beauty queen.


Current Economy[edit]

The Botswanan pula is made up of 13 trideks, which in turn are made up of eleven dekunes. The dekunes are further divided into 6.5 meldies though this ratio can alter during 'fiduciary savings time' ( October-March ). Tourists are advised to check the division of the currency hourly as making change is difficult.

The principal export of Botswana is eland, which travel mostly across the Western border into Namibia and its principal import is the same eland who return via Zimbabwe after closing time.

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Africa's shithole.

Political Outlook[edit]

The political outlook is dire. A long drought has meant there has been no rainy season, and waterholes are drying up. There has been no opportunity for horns to be clashed and the government is looking dangerously moribund. Recent overtures from the United States have been politely rebuffed by the Grand Poobah, and it is thought by some that democravy will unavoidably occur in Botswana through the agency of the Sony Corporation.