Buddha

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Buddha.

The philosophy of Buddhism is yet another eastern doctrine of surrender, predating its French variation by well over two thousand years. Buddhism was initially founded by a decadent prince to annoy people around the time of Socrates, it has since become second only to Scientology in popularity amongst LA "loony bin types".

The doctrine has since become world famous, with well known names such as Richard Gere, Colin Farrell and Paris Hilton practicing the philosophy. Many report it as being a great way to pick up women, and also a great way to beg outside of the Big Issue, particularly in raising awareness of "causes" and "personal issues".

The philosophy is currently recognized by renowned Terrorist/Spiritual leader the Dalai Lama, although those of the “Slow Vehicle” sect dislike him, they do acknowledge his general awesomeness and his shameless self-publicizing.

The Scotch Buddha