Butterfly

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Butterfly.

The Butterfly Is NOT a flying insect. At most one can say that the butterfly has evolved into a bug that has become very bad in falling-to-the-ground. Every time the creature seems to complete the very simple task of crashing to it's doom it simply fails at it by suddenly shooting towards a totally non-crash related direction. Considering this it can be concluded that the one thing that butterflies excel at is mutating into horrible freaks of nature. For instance camouflage. Whereas the sane family member, the moth, is known for it explicit skills in camouflage the butterfly , being flawed in all its ways.

The Monster Flap head Bug[edit]

As easy as it is to dismiss this monstrous failure of proper natural selection one must not underestimate the butterfly and discard it as a trivial entity. Where it's more stable cousin, the moth, only causes death by getting a skull tattoo and logging itself into some girls throat, the butterfly is capable and responsible for far more deaths and destruction. Leading scientists in a large array of fields have drawn the same conclusion that certain families of the butterfly Lepradopeterror are souly responsible for many world wide disasters and tragedies. The most famous being the Chinese butterfly who's main objective is to cause tornados in Kansas as often as possible.

Butterfly are also known to cause the following :

  • Earthquakes
  • Tidal waves
  • War
  • Asteroid impacts


The most dangerous butterfly species are :

  • the Lorquin's Admiral ( responsible for Pearl Harbor and slave traders )
  • the Scarce Swallowtail ( cause of all hunger and poverty, as well for useless Swallow sketches and bird flu )
  • Peacock Butterfly ( The number one carrier of micro-dick sickness )
  • Comma Butterfly ( 'the', "source", of bad ..punctuation,, ( as seen, in,! 'this' article )..,
  • Monarch Butterfly ( Bringer of all bad things possible except bad tyrannic monarchs ( hench the name ).
  • Quantum Weather Butterfly ( with Mandelbrot wings capable of causing massive tornado's anywhere in the world by merely flapping its wings )

Counter Measures[edit]

The global awareness of the terror caused by the butterfly had been on the increase since the Elvis Glitter-suit disaster in Vegas ( 1976 ). The king,infected by the parasite butterfly species Blue Morpho, had uncontrollable urges to dress and eat just like a butterfly, a lifestyle that leads to the path of total destruction (and deaths on toilets).

To counter this global threat many nations started to introduce programs to kill off the evil butterfly. Alas to no avail. Recent counter measure attempts :

  • China killing lots of butterflies ( and in that high spirited process by accident killing tons of politically opposed innocent activists ( and babies ) ) only to trigger a Tsunami and a Hugh hurricane season.
  • USA Starting a global war on Iraqi butterfly terror , only to spark a new form of more wing-flapping Destruction.
  • North Pole Lowering the average temperature so the wing flappers can't survive.

More Irritating Features of Butterflies[edit]

Some people have suggested that an amazing thing about the word "butterfly" is that if one rearranges the letters you could spell "Flutter-by" ( or Flutter by ). Since Fluttering by in precisely what a Butterfly does some people feel the need to proclaim this humorous or entertaining, Which , of course, it is NOT.

There Is absolutely nothing amusing nor funny about the fact that, by pure coincidence, the letters in one word can be rearranged to form another word that means roughly the same. It's a waste of precious resources and the use of such nonsense should be punishable by law. The silly person that thought up the butterfly thing simply had to much FUCKING time on his/her hands and should have got a FUCKING job instead.

Some sad Joe even invented a word for these cases in which to sets of letters form different words that mean the same thing. This type is of course the ultimate slacker and he/she should have been shot. He called these idiotic words spoonerisms.