Cancer

From Encyclopædia Dæmonica

“Welcome to Cancer, will anyone else be joining you tonight?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Cancer

Contents 1 Trivia 2 What can I get started for you? 3 Choices for a Healthy Lifestyle 4 Tasty Treats 5 Cancer 5.1 Appendix

[edit] Trivia

This article is the only known substance not shown to cause cancer in the state of California.

[edit] What can I get started for you?

Cigarettes -A rich blend of our finest low tar smokes, slowly hand rolled and served with lighter, matches, or preferred ignition... 11

Radiation -24,000 Grays of Our finest X-rays... 12

Chewing Tobacco -Delicious dipping tobacco flavored with rum, whisky, or wild cherry... 8

Snuff -Snortfully dry spicy cool tobacco, flavored with wasabi-ranch dressing... 6

Alcohol

-Gravy thick 80 proof spirits chilled and ready to break even the toughest blood to brain barrier... 10

[edit] Choices for a Healthy Lifestyle

Crab Legs & Asbestos served with steamed fresh veggies and black beans... 31

Flame Grilled Ribeye topped with DDT, garlic butter, and roasted herb jus… 24

Full Rack of St. Louis Baby Back Ribs “double-basted” w/Benzene sauce… 18

Marinated Chicken Sarcoma with applewood smoked bacon, cheese, and tomatoes… 16

Madame Curie’s Alpha Particle Cajun Pasta with seasoned tomatoes, parmesan cheese, and garlic toast… 14

Country-Fried Aspergillus Steak with mashed potatoes and country black gravy… 22

Uncle Sam’s Agent Orange Vietnamese Chicken Balls with pine nut sauce… 17

Times Beach Surf & Turf with Dioxin dipping sauce... 22

[edit] Tasty Treats

Three Mile Island Paradise Pie with chocolate chips, walnuts, and coconut... 7

Banana Rattler Delight served with two poisony fangs... 9

[edit] Cancer

LOL you have cancer you're going to die in 12 days. lol pwned

[edit] Appendix

It also helps if your starsign is Cancer.