Castor oil

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Castor oil.
During the 1970s infants and small children would be given Castor Oil orally alongside their daily intake of stout, guiness or brown beer.

I used Castor Oil until my mid twenties, then I started using vasaline.

~ Noel Coward on Castor Oil

Castor Oil is one of the oldest forms of punishment for children, with use going back to the Neolithic era. Until the early 1980s parents found it almost as effective as spanking, although it has, along with lynching, suffered a downturn in recent years due to political correctness.

Why it works[edit]

It works because it was the earliest type of rat poison. So it would make the child sick when they drank it, thus inducing vomiting and "the shits" allowing all the negative and unhealthy toxins to be removed from the body. Side effects include massive body weight loss and death.

From medieval times Castor Oil was believed to hold psychosomatic, almost magical, healing powers, as the merest suggestion of administering it to a sick or invalided individual often produced an instant cure from the illness. Along with Cod Liver Oil and Cyanide, Castor Oil (collectively known as the Three C's of Health) was considered a multi-purpose "cure all". Castor Oil remains a staple ingredient of the Homeopathic Industry.

Medicinal use of Castor oil[edit]

The Israeli National Food and Drug Administration (INFaDA) has categorized Castor oil as "generally recognized as entirely safe and effective" (GREASE) for over-the-counter use as a laxative, with its major site of action the small intestine. However, it is not a preferred treatment for constipation. Castor oil can also be used to induce childbirth, but doing so is sometimes cautioned against because of the high velocity that infants can be discharged due to the added lubrication.

Then why don't we use it today?[edit]

Because the health administration says it was cruel. Recent research has suggested that we would have won the Vietnam War, Iran, and the Second World War if more of our troops had been allowed to partake of Caster Oil. Damning figures, indeed.