Cat disease

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This is a very deadly disease and needs to be treated properly by your local witch doctor. To make sure the doctor’s official; they need to be a female over 50 with a bone hanging around her neck. You will start off with fur growing on your hands, which in about a week’s time, there will be full grown cats on your hands. Ignore the meowing coming from your fingernails, it will be fully grown in about a month then they will detach from you and live in your kitchen. They are protected, so unfortunately they cannot be eaten.

CURE: To cure this horrible disease and to stop having pairs of cats being born from your fingers, follow the following instructions.

Shout P̄hm chxb mæw kheī̂yw tlxd welā kæa phūd kæa xụ cụng xr̀xy kin and jump on the spot 25 times before you go to bed and when you wake up.

Zai jain and good luck recovering from the disease.