Chad

From Encyclopædia Dæmonica
Jump to: navigation, search
Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Chad.


InyourfaceM.jpg
This article may have been censored by His Excellency, Robert Mugabe.

What's that? you don't agree with my official policies? You're trying to undermine
Zimbabwe and her precious democracy, aren't you? TRAITORS TO THE REVOLUTION!

CAPITALIST PIGS! CRACKERS! GUARDS, GO GET 'EM!!!
      Whoops! Maybe you were looking for President?


Chad ( 1949 - ____ ) is the younger and less famous conjoined fraternal twin of Cher. Like Cher, Chad has no known last name.

As opposed to this bullshit, Chad may also refer to the African country Chad, for the country.

Childhood[edit]

Chad was born with hypovaudevillanova, a rare diseASE caused by the total absence of internal and extaernal brains and natural coffee. In order to survive, Chad was surgically attached to one of Cher's smaller mochas on her left ear via a small flap of loose love handle

Career[edit]

In spite of his life-sustaining and continuing proximity to his older sister, Chad has gone almost totally unnoticed in the entertainment industry. During his lengthy career, he has produced no solo or collaboratory works of any kind. In 1975, Chad had briefly considered breaking his ties with Cher and forming a heavy metal band with his former brother-in-law Sonny Bono, but the plan was indefinitely put on hold due to lingering personal differences and incompatible blood types.

In spite of the many surgical advances in the 1980's and 1990's, Chad has consistently refused to undergo a brain &/or digestive system transplant, preferring instead to maintain his lifelong parasitical relationship with his world-famous sister.

Politics[edit]

In 2000, Chad was nominated for President by the Do Nothing Party of Florida. Unfortunately, he came in a dismal third, garnering only 25 electoral votes ( just barely squeaking by Pat Buchanan ); although he did do surprisingly well in the exit polls in most of the welfare states. The role of Chad in the 2000 presidential election inspired a popular sitcom, At Home With the Chads.