China

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about China.


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China is that one place that all the good cooks come from. It is also big, but only because there is so many people (mainly good cooks). The Chinese like tea, and it takes a large role in everything related to China.

Tea[edit]

Not the State of Maine. The Chinese discovered tea one day, drank it, decided that it was better than pee, and proceeded to reap money off of it. Because everyone and everything in China/that is Chinese loves tea, the Chinese hang English tea bags over every doorway to ward off evil Chinese spirits, who only enjoy Chinese tea, and are deathly afraid of the British variety.

Squinty eyes[edit]

It's genetic, okay?

Chairman Mao[edit]

He looks like a panda, due to two permanent blackish rings around his eyes. The Chinese government tried to PhotoShop it out of all his pictures before letting anyone else see before remembering that PhotoShop wasn't around when they had the idea, thus leading them to wonder why they thought of an idea like that in the first place, when PhotoShop wouldn't even be widely known for a long time.

Inventions[edit]

LOTS OF THEM! LIKE THAT STUFF THAT MAKES GUNS GO BOOOOOOOOM, AND TEA.

AND THAT ONE GIGANTIC WALL THINGY!