Comrade Superman

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Those obsessed with so-called-experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Comrade Superman.

Comrade Superman was a red Soviet President who is known for his invasion of the United States and the destruction of Iraq with his fists. He was born in 10000 BC, where for the first three years of his life, he lived on a diet of monkey poo and stone. However, his father, known as Super-El, against all odds, had mastered time in the stone age, sent his son on a time machine to a better future in Soviet Russia. Why he didn't go with his son is unknown, though it's possible that he hated young Comrade Superman.