Country

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Country.

Yeeeha! Let's go fox hunting! People in the country are always more stupid that those from the towns. Damn town folk, coming to our village and taking our jobs! Country is the worst / best music ever. The country is the precursor to the city. Unfortunately, some might say, the city has rendered the country more-or-less obsolete.

People from the Country speak in country accents, own farms and fondle sheep. Their only concern in life is winning the "Village-of-the Year" award, and they will murder anyone who tries to get in their way. The only person who can stop them is a kick-ass cop who likes swans and his sidekick who is named after a sandwich.

The great escape![edit]

Country air is sweeter than the air in all other places. This is because of the abundance of cows who are fed on Polo Mints, so their farts are minty fresh.

Things to do in the country[edit]

  • Shoot stuff, such as pheasants, foxes, dogs, and Sarah Palin.
  • Fondle sheep
  • Become angry at townsfolk
  • Speak with a funny accent
  • Buy a farm
  • Throw cow patties at passers-by
  • Eat a lot of peaches
  • Go back to the city

Things you will find in the Country[edit]

  • Farmers
  • Angry farmers
  • Angry farmers with shotguns
  • Cow pattiess
  • Sheep
  • Sheep fondlers
  • Village fêtes and raffle tickets
  • Silly French vowels
  • Broken church roofs