Daffy Duck

From Encyclopædia Dæmonica
Jump to: navigation, search
     Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Daffy Tamia?
Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Daffy Duck.
Buttdaff.JPG

Mr. Daffy Alexander Duck IV is a man (or duck, should I say) born to Mario and Hulk Hogan back in the 16th century. He started as a simple farm hand to Bugs Bunny and worked 45 hours a week without a problem. After this humble start, Mr. Duck went into show business and was on Looney Tunes snd lost the role of star to his former boss. After this, Mr. Duck seeked the nomination for President of the United States. After losing the chance for the Democratic Party's nomination, he decided to go and work for McDonald's. In 2009, Daffy Duck was pronounced dead and then was used to feed the hungry in Africa.

Early Life[edit]

Daffy Duck started as a much smaller duck, as one would expect. He was said to be born to the evil Granny, but so many are not sure. Another theory is that Duck was born to a supermodel, but was left to Granny as a baby so that he could be taken care of. He was raised with many other children in Granny's house such as Bugs Bunny, Sylvester, Lola, Peggy, Puyl McCartney and some too stupid to mention. Duck was always the bully and made the other children cater to his every whim. Granny would then come along and teach him a "moral", then he would pretend to be sorry and then he would do it again. After Duck grew up, he seemed to be a fine young man.

Days as a Farmhand[edit]

After his unsuccessful relationship with Olive Oyl, Duck decided to finally make a living for himself. He worked as a farmhand for Bugs Bunny. Bunny is so cheap that he did not even pay Duck minimum wage, give him free health care, or a place to stay. Duck wasted 23 years as a farmhand. After quitting, Duck hit is show business in Looney Tunes.

Years in Showbusiness[edit]

Duck started by cleaning the set. Soon, he auditioned for the main role, but it was given to Bugs Bunny. He did play a secondary role as himself, and many of his childhood slaves friends. Duck was known for some catchphrase that is not located in this article whatsoever. Duck often played an enemy of Bugs Bunny and even helped Elmer Fudd try to kill him unsuccessfully. Duck was fired since he did illegal drugs and would be a bad influence on young kids.

Candiacy for U.S. President[edit]

Duck ran in 2004 for the Democratic Party's nomination. They were against Republican George Dubya Bush, and had a choice between Duck and John Kerry, an actual politician. Duck was libeled by Kerry as being too biased against liberal values. Bush was not, Duck, after losing the nomination, decided to support independent Ralph Nader.

Year at McDonald's[edit]

After his unsuccessful presidential campaign, Duck decided to flip burger in his older days. He made mininum wage. After this, he was fired and was forced to live in a retirement home by the government.

Death[edit]

Daffy Duck died on May 2, 2009 by getting shot by a homie in Detroit. Duck was endlessly stabbed with a knife and his corpse was sent to Africa to be eaten by savages and cannibals. No one knows why, but Bugs Bunny actually showed up to the funeral.

Legacy[edit]

Duck will be remembered as only a character on Looney Tunes and not as the man (or duck) he was. It is sad, but it shows the integrity of the American people. Duck's only living relative, Darkwing Duck, said he maintained a shaky relationship with Daffy, only calling him occasionally on holidays. During their last phone conversation, just two weeks before Daffy's death, there is a faint sound of liquid dripping in the background. Experts conclude that this is the gore spilling out from the massive head wound Daffy suffered during his battle with the Witch King.