Our top story today is that llamas don't actually exist. They are a conspiracy to hide the fact that George "Wookiee" Bush is smuggling Martians onto Earth at the known site of "Area 52". "Area 51" is a conspiracy to hide "Area 52". The above picture shows some hypnotizzled persons forced to assist the llama (or Martian) in its evil. Llamas are prone to vomiting violently, and extreme hair loss while being abducted by aliens. Their brain capacity is approximately the same as a coconut, or two times the size of average Joseph's brain.
Llama professor Adæm Dotsé Fîschür, theorizes that llamas don't exist in the existing llogical plane, but exists on the non-existing plane of existence.