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      Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Dick Cheney?

MMM!, Dick!; Who did you think I was, Homer Simpson?

~ Oscar Wilde

My favourite article (next to Tamia) !

~ Tamia on dick
For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Penis.

Biggus Dickus


Tricky Dick[edit]

He farms sheep and he does a whole load of other things to sheep too. AHEM. And erm... he likes to, er... not tellin'.

Watergate was funny though, it was a gate that could hold water in it, brill eh? That Richard Nix is one funny dude, to build a watered gate. LOL. Arooo.

Richard Nixon's death was a joyous event followed up with roast turkey.


The penis is the primary functioning organ of a male human being, with the brain coming in a close second and the heart in a disappointing third. Penises, or penii, come in many shapes and sizes, all of which are useless to a man unless they are one specific shape and size.

The Bible (Genesis) says that God removed Eve's penis and used it to create Adam. She never forgave Him, nor have her female descendants.

The Lithuanians claim that the penis is named after Lithuanian President Sukis Penis, a depressed emo who invented the penis in 1832 as a form of population control. Prior to that, people reproduced asexually and were starting to exceed the available food supply. This occurred during the Industrial Revolution, so the penis was soon mass-produced, and man grew so dependent on it that asexual reproduction all but ceased.

The British say the penis originated in the Pennines town of Penistone in South Yorkshire.