Dick Cheney

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Dick Cheney.
First Dick

Dick "Head" Cheney was the 46th United States Vice President, who currently lives deep within the fiery pits of Hell. He is a Republican, or, as the rest of the world has come to call them, a bastard. He has briefly assumed the presidency twice, the first time being when President Bush received a colonoscopy, and the second time being the next day when Bush went back to the doctors after realizing that the camera was still stuck inside his ass.

Cheney was initially meant to appear only in 2012, in order to bring on the apocalypse and kill all of human kind. But no one else wanted to be vice-president under the reign of George W. Bush because he farts a lot in the White House and it is unbearable. So they called in Dick, for his nostrils do not function properly because of an accident he had when he was a child.