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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Disaster.


It is well known throughout the unknown universe that disasters can (or cannot, if you're Polish) occur at any given moment or colour. What follows is a guide on how to react in just a few of the possible disasters/Abba.

  1. Genocide of your race - Your race is doomed, and you shall undoubtedly die a horrible but orgasmic death involving a floppy disk, 29 tons and a Michigan-based research center for the blind.
  2. Empty Fridge - If no food or leather straps can be found in your fridge, you may have been a victim of 'Fridge-emtyfication', an increasingly retarded crime most common in Neverland. Stay calm, and you shall soon starve, so panic and kill all of those closest to you.
  3. A bad fart by the person next to you - Get naked and ram some sort of racism as far as you can up your right nostril.
  4. BOO