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Those obsessed with so-called-experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Donaldassi.

Donald Assi is a very complex person, he indeed is a Bible Basher. His mother named him after her favourite cartoon character "Donald Duck". He is the messiah as many people believe, Jesus was a sham. Donald spends most of his time on the toilet with his favourite disciple Andrew "The Porker" Harris .

Donald has a very big cult following, known as "Quackstianity". Following the book "Pond Bible", his following have learnt that life is like a big pond and they are like ducklings, they need to follow the way of assi to reach the almighty pond.

Followers that stray end up in a fiery dish known as Peking Duck.