Doneness

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Because of their incurable biases, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will probably never have an article about Doneness. We are sorry they insist on being this lame.


  • Doneness is a measure of time since the beginning of The Ham. It can also be used to predict the end of the universe, when The

Ham finishes its cooking period, exactly 23.4457893201238 years from 4.343789 days ago.

  • A small village on the outskirts of London.
  • Occasionally, used to refer to the amount of cooking any foodstuff , (apart from The Ham) has received. Measured from 'Moo', through Bleu, Rare, Medium Rare, Well Done, Thoroughly Cooked, to Cremated. The definition of each of these is different according to where you are eating.
  • A participant of the Do