Donkey Kong

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Donkey Kong.

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Donkey Kong is a fat gorilla known for doing absolutely nothing. That's right, his ass was coasting on Cranky Kong's accomplishments. Kong is in no way related to King Kong or Hong Kong, but he is oddly enough related to Diddy Kong. He is known for glutttony and smoking banana peels. He started off as a young whippersnapper in Donkey Kong County, of course. Michael Jackson was his father, not Darth Vader. He also was a fan of Uncle Bimbo in his childhood.