Drunken hobo

GOVERNMENT WARNING: According to the Surgeon General, the use of alcohol impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems.

The Drunken Hobo

A mysterious man found passed out in a Wendy's parking lot, the Drunken Hobo claims knowledge about everything. He is only quoted when writers want to take up space. He is considerably more talkative than Oscar Wilde, but less quoted. Some people believe the Drunken Hobo to be the messiah, but these people are, without a doubt, extremely silly.

Popular Subjects to Consult the Drunken Hobo On

• His being less of a drunk than Tamia Hill
• The FSM
• Alicia Keys
• God
• Jesus
• Sex
• performing a Barrel Roll
• The weather