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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Earplugs.

What would the world be without earplugs? Noisy. That is why Earplugs are important. That is why this article exists.


Earplugs, also known as Ear plugs by some, are used for blocking out noise. That is really it. Unless you want more detail, which is obviously why you searched this. Earplugs have many uses besides blocking out sound. They can stop nose bleeds, plug up holes in dams, and a lot of them can be stuffed into a pillow case to make a cheap temper-pedic pillow.

History of Earplugs[edit]

Earplugs have existed for many centuries, coming from a creature known as a Sound Sponge, they are used to block out sound. If one was to push one as so the earplug cannot be squished anymore, experts say it would take about 3 million years to return to normal. Since earplugs are so amazing in many factors, it is said that they can infact be used as cell phones when upgraded with special programs. Many disagree with this fact, and wish that earplugs would altogether disappear from the planet. these people are referred to by the term idiots

Reasons to buy Earplugs[edit]

  • They save your ears
  • They are a close relative to waffles
  • When cooked with rice, they can prove most delicious
  • Also with fish, rice, fish, rice, fish, rice, fish, rice, fish, and rice
  • If someone is yelling at you, you don't have to pretend to not hear them
  • They have the pleasing name of earplugs, which accurately describes their usage
  • Bagpipes
  • Wrangling Tornado Sirens
These are common earplugs
  • To drown out someone screaming this article to everybody in a room. They really, really aren't funny.

Emergency Earplug Alternatives[edit]

If for some reason, you are a fool who cannot find real earplugs, then you may not be able to define real. Real is whatever your brain says it is. You are not in the Matrix. Really. Despite this, there are alternatives to earplugs.

  • Cotton Balls. Those things that really don't do much
  • Paper Clips. They make good q-tips.
  • Q-tips. They make good paper clips. Just trust me.
  • Nails
  • Very sharp knives. No, really!
  • Loud music
  • Going deaf
  • Sleeping
  • NOT your fingers, you don't know where they've been.

In The End[edit]

It is said that at the end of the world, earplugs will take over. This may in fact be true. Also, earplugs may kill everyone and make it the end of the world

All in all[edit]

In a basic summary of everything, earplugs are put in your vagina, I mean ear, what was I thinking. I guess it was written in by some other person. I guess you could use them for both, but the second is preferred by men.


If you hear people you don't want to hear, you should buy some earplugs.

Stop hand.png Notice
Earplugs do not stop e-mails and IMs from people you don't like.