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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Earth.

What a beautiful planet!

Earth as seen from space.
Earth as seen from the moon.

Earth is evil because it has terrorists, Spaniards, rap music, Spaniards, Mel Gibson, racist pricks, Spaniards, in-laws, racial minorities, and random, completely oddball encyclopedias like Wikipedia and Encyclopedia Britannica.

~ Wizened old man

Earth is a planet. Planets, mmm, schmanets! It tastes earthy like worm meatballs but can be boiled and fed to the birds. Under no circumstances call the Earth Jupiter or it will become extremely mad and call upon Saturn. And you won't like it when Uranus appears.

Scenario, or maybe sex scene[edit]

King: Klytus, I'm bored. What plaything can you offer me today?
Klytus: An obscure body in the SK system. The inhabitants call it Urf.
King: How peaceful it looks.
Klytus: Most effective, Your Majesty. Will you destroy this Earth?
King: Later. I like to play with things... before annihilation! Ha ha ha ha ha ...
Monster: tttt tttt tttt tttt -Flash!- aaaaaaa aaa