Ebonics

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Ebonics.
Yo, buss dis. Ebonics be a language known fuh its elaborate literary conskructs, an wuz officially formalized by Black Jesus. Fo schizzle, bee-yatch.

De Language Isself[edit]

Ebonics be a language dat requires years uh study to mastuh an' contains subtle nuances which only de mos studied linguist can understand, aiii? Word.

Language Awgins[edit]

It be 'ssumed dat Ebonics be a direct descendant uh de original language uh humanity, which wuz invalidated aftuh de fall uh de Towuh uh Babel. Though it wuz not formalized until recently, it has existed since back in the day. As such, those wit da flow in Ebonics may act as wrappers fuh those who rapp in tongues. It be furthuh 'ssumed dat evary homie ( an' some really stupid dogs ) has an instinctive, mundane feeling fo' Ebonics.

Ties to dat Christianity stuff[edit]

Ebonics be integral to truly understandin Christian Lore. An excerpt from de Rick James Version uh de Bible reveals de true natua uh de Ten Commandments:

Linuistic Evolution[edit]

Word up! While Ebonics be spoken fuh since back in the day, all my homies be changin' it to keep it fresh. Fuh instance, de concept uh de wheel be extended in de form uh a "rim". Similarly, de expression uh de complex numbuh set be simply reduced to "That shit dat makes my head hurt."
Many languages be descended from ebonics, includin de English, French, an' Canadian. Bein dat be is a direct ancestor to de language common to all othuh languages, dis be axial; any self-respectin linguist would nevuh, unduh any circumstances, challenge de Axiom uh Ebonic Relation.

Formalization an' de Ebonic Renaissance[edit]

Ebonics wuz firs formalized by Black Jesus, when he wrote Da Bible. Dis document be considard de catalys to a cultural renaissance which would lead to years uh human prosperity, an shit. De work wuz considard to be so eloquent an' well-formed dat it recieved Pulitzuh Bling in evary possible category, much to de ire uh disgruntled starvin artists. Dismay fuh de wuk did exis howevuh, as Jesus reportedly went completely apeshit an' brung 'bout Armegeddon in dem parts uh de world dat nobody truly care bout.

Banishment by duh Feduhral gubmint[edit]

Subsequently, in 2050, Congress ruled dat Ebonics, due to its Godly nature, violated seperation uh Church an' State, derefo makin it illegal. In fear uh bein censored, de Ebonic Renaissance writers moved undergroun' ( literally ) to avoid de De Spanish Inquisition, whom nobody expects. De Spanish Inquisition spoke de mos ungodly language of, well, Spanish, which only eastsieeeed Gs talk. Some authors abandoned deir trade an' gets hoes, which wuz legal by dis time. In a lan' mark decision five years latuh, Gay Rights activists managed to has de decision reversed, thus endin a five year regime uh hatin' on accomplished authors.

Firs Contact wit God[edit]

In 2100, Ebonics wuz uset to reestablish contact wit God ( all praises be ), who had decided to disappear shorty aftuh World War II, presumably to release tension built up durin dis era. It surprised many dat God wuz, in fact a Klingon. Sheeit!