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Widely known as humanity's biggest mistake since The Titanic Fuck-Up, Elissa has earnt herself the title of "World Biggest Moody Whore".

Constantly jealous of everyone who isnt a Big Moody Whore (basically every other woman ever), she reigns down a constant and terrible stream of fire and death upon small African vilages in hope of bringing herself happiness by causing pain. As such, African hates her more than everyone else.


In her Life, Elissa has tired to end the world hundreds of times, creating disaster after disaster. Some of these include:

  • AIDS
  • The Holocaust (SHe has Polish roots, and as such Hitler tried vailantly to kill her)
  • The Black Plague
  • The Hiroshima Bombing (The U.S attacked her while she was visiting Japan)
  • Every World War Ever