FAQ

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This is a fairly comprehensive list of Frequently Asked Questions.


Q. Will this FAQ have the answer to my question?[edit]

Probably not.

Q. What is Encyclopædia Dæmonica?[edit]

Encyclopædia Dæmonica is the smallest known collection of encyclopedias within the internet. If you had the foresight to ask this question before, you won't ask it again. And it’s available in pill form.

Q. What is a Dæmonican?[edit]

Gods amongst women and men, known for their great Knowledge and Wisdom, and love of cheese helmets.

Q. What are the rules here?[edit]

The constitution of Uncyclopedia is the Two Rules:

All other rules and procedures follow from these. If you can't follow them, you're probably falling afoul of the second one.

Q. Who can edit?[edit]

Anyone wearing a cheese helmet,
Bagwans,
Frail elderly people,
People who think they are Godzilla,
Members of the The Egg Board,
Romany Types,
Anyone wearing knitted underwear,
Worshipers of Blarghdhgfgf svfgk the Un-pronounceable,
Aliens coming through an accidental rift of the space-time continuum of the Internet itself.

Q. Who can not edit?[edit]

Anyone who has skid marks on their underwear,
Jesii,
Vegitarians between the age of 24 and 32,
Vegitarians not between the age of 24 and 32,
Dicks who can't spell Vegetarians,
Users of Encyclop*dia Dramatica,
Anyone with hair longer than shoulder length,
People who think pidgeons are sexy.
Dicks who can't spell pigeon.

Q. How do I add links, titles, etc.?[edit]

Links and titles can be added at your discretion. If you wish to add a link, please first consult the owner of the page you wish to link to, citing your name, address, date of birth and next of kin. Next, you must file an IRQ ( Interrupt Request ), a protocol used whenever the space-time continuum of the current internet must be disrupted. Be warned, frequent use exposes the user to submicro radiation and must not be used more than once every 3 days.

Q. What is the editorial policy?[edit]

Editorial policy is or is not similar to that of politics. It is neither null nor void, but it is null and void.

Q. What should I write about?[edit]

As a member of the current internet, you are permitted to write about any topic which falls under the jurisdiction of chapter 4, paragraph 8, section c, subsection "she". If you cannot abide by this rule, you will face a court of law in your nearest available town which contains a court of law. If you do not have a nearest town containing a court of law, one will probably be built at some point, pending continual expansion of the world's legal system and police force, unless there is a lack of donuts, in which case law and order is very likely to collapse as we know it.

Q. Why should I register?[edit]

Users are encouraged to register because by doing so you will receive a free badge and certificate. In order to claim your free badge and certificate, please send a large amount of money to whoever you think it was who wrote this. Hint: It was me.

Q. My article got Baleeted! Why?[edit]

Your article most likely got deleted because there's something wrong with your motherboard. To correct this, please refer to your computer's user manual and remember that your solution will be in Engrish, Japanese, estonian, pig latin, chinese, and lookatthese and located on the 1st quadrant of the first page and the 11th quadrant of the 2nd page. On the other hand, maybe you're too boring and stupid to realize that this is a prime-time show with millions of fat people and idiots watching.

Q. My article got vandalised! What can I do?[edit]

Vandalism on the internet can be counteracted in one of 2 ways. the first way is through the use of counter-vandalism, which, as you may or may not have guessed, is quite unlike anything anyone has ever seen before. The second method is through the use of 'cyber-graffiti', which costs about a dollar per can, and should be sprayed liberally in the face of all who oppose your 1337 $k!11Z.

Q. How do I use categories?[edit]

I have no idea, I was only employed to write all that stuff above.

Q. How do I upload/add images?[edit]

By using the Upload utility.

Q. ...Which would be located at?[edit]

Its present location. No joke.

Q. Who decides what pages get featured on the front page?[edit]

That guy over there. His name is Thomas. Thomas goes into public toilets and laughs at people's poo, and contrary to what he may tell you, he is in no way related to Charles Darwin.

Q. What's all this about Sauron?[edit]

That's just some stupid character from star trek and only babies like star trek. Are you a baby?

Q. Who is Sophia?[edit]

I don't know, but I heard she has big knockers. Give her my number if you happen to see her.

Q. What are the Real Answers to these questions?[edit]

For the (real) answers, please consult the Uncyclopedia AFAQ - Answers To Frequently Asked Questions.

Q. Am I allowed to randomly put in FAQs like this?[edit]

No. For your question to be added to the FAQ, it must be asked frequently.

Q. ... So, are questions like "What's all this about Sauron?" and "Who is Sophia?" frequently asked?[edit]

Yes. You have NO idea.

Q. Am I allowed to randomly put in FAQs like this?[edit]

Yes.

Q. Really?[edit]

No.

Q. Is John a vegetarian?[edit]

Yes, but not because he doesn't like eating meat, but because he hates plants a lot.

Q. Are you sexy?[edit]

Yes, yes I am. But only when I've had too much to drink and you are wearing beer mugs on your eye sockets.

Q. Why do you keep asking all these questions?[edit]

Because if I didn't, then who would ? You ? Nahh!