Free

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Note the following article is Free***. That is right it costs exactly as much as Free*** stuff costs, so don’t worry about the amount of stuff you are paying for because this is Free***.

The concept of Free*** has greased society since pre Freudian days. Long ago, when dinosaurs and 8-tracks roamed the earth, a small company known as AOL invented Free***. At that time it was used only as an Internet term, and was closely related to SPAM.

However in 1990 several liberal college students began using the word, as slang, to mean nothing. The word spread like butter on a muffin, obliterating all other slang terms in its path. Many began to use the term to mean costless.

In 1972, the motion picture companies of America began a campaign to redefine Free***. They decided that Free*** should mean extra. This concept was quickly adopted by infomercials and fairly soon not only did you get a can opener that slices, dices, purees, and blends but you also got the spokesperson for Free***.