From Encyclopaedia Daemonica
Jump to: navigation, search
For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Frosties.

A common german box of frosties. Note the jedi-dildo and the "less sugar" stamp wich Kellogg's got sued for.

Kellogg's Frosties was a brand of cereal in the little country of Sweden which was invented during the war against Uruguay. It was supposed to be an substitute to food for the slaves, (also known as fjortisar, or fjårtisar) at the massive concentration camps in Gothenburg.

The religious war against Kellogg's, 1992[edit]

When the Frosties was released, a massive wave of religious extremists, lead by George W. Bush, started protests all over the country, which lead to bombings all over the eastern realms of Sweden. The massive holes soon got filled with rainwater and falling codfish and is now called the Baltic Sea, because of the round bombs which was dropped. Unfortunately the man who named it, Göran Persson, didn't know how to spell ball. So the correct spelling of the sea should be "the BALLtic sea".

The Fjortis riot, 1999[edit]

In 1998 the fjortisar planned a massive jailbreak which took action in the first months of 1999.

The prisoners were full of hate and frosties, which not only contains extreme amounts of sugar, but also a high concentration of ecstasy. This gave the fjortisar amazing powers, such as hyperactivity, ability to shot lasers with there eyes and no need to sleep. The fjortisar gained a lot of power in politics.

You can still see a lot of fjortis politics in today's riksdag. Some examples are: Mona Salin, Maud Olofsson, Gudrun Schyman, Fredrik Reinfeldt, Osama bin Laden, Jimmie Åkesson (even though he isn't a fjortis, he is a sverigedemokrat and he still has the same brainpower as one).

The Anna Lindh murder, 2003[edit]

In september 2003 Anna Lindh was murdered by a man named Mijailo Mijailović. The man was outraged about Anna Lindh's support for the Kellogg's corporation, but what he didn't realize was that he had eaten frosties that morning, and was in fact high on sugar and ecstasy himself. The man, who was very ugly, shot Lindh, who was funny-looking, with his lasers and killed the politician.