Grape sausage

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Grape sausage was invented by Confuscious years ago to counter-attack mentally unstable Mexicans. Unfortunately, the invention did not succeed, and crazy Mexicans still plague the world today, like George Lopez, and that fat guy down the street, who is watching me at the moment.

Crazy Mexicans[edit]

During the war in 1999 between the Mexicans and Asians, the Mexicans somehow won, and now are on top of the population chart. Right now, president Obama is funding 1.5 billion dollars on the extermination of George Lopez crazy Mexicans, but we are showing little sign of recovery. NASA, the FBI, and even Area 51 Officials have turned their attentions to crazy Mexicans.


Damn, I'm good...

~ Confuscious

Confuscious was the son of Cleopatra's dog, Fatty, who was in turn the sixth son of Lindsay Lohan. He suffered severe mental illness because of the imagined trauma, and this was why he was in the trunk of a Toyota when he thought of the idea. Not surprisingly, his invention turned out to be crap, and he was later killed by his father, who happened to be watching The Hills on MTV while this was happening. You can imagine what happened next.

Confuscious's prediction in 1666 told of the Mexicans one day taking over the whole of North America, and even some parts of Atlantis. A scary belief he started was that the amount of crazy Mexicans steadily George Lopez increasing by 50 per cent each year, until 2012, when the number will start increasing by 5000%, eventually leading to an apocalypse.

HOLY CRAP![edit]

Holy crap indeed, sonny.

You still haven't told me what grape sausage is, dumbass.[edit]

I'm getting to it! All this talk about George Lopez Crazy Mexicans builds up atmosphere!

George Lopez[edit]

I'm Mexican! Isn't that funny?

~ George Lopez

George Lopez is crap.

The Conspiracy of 2006[edit]

Excuse me, where is the washroom?

~ Anonymous Mexican

The Mexicans were at a very high peak in 2006, and some even say it was the "Golden Age" of George Lopez. This was the first time when the Sausagey theory was proposed. In the gathering of Mexicans that happened at around July, Grape Sausage Man was deployed to stop them. It was going to be the biggest battle in George Lopez sausage history.

Battle of the Crazy Mexicans (otherwise known as: The Night of Flying Tacos)[edit]

Daaaaaaaammmnn... That's a lotta beef

~ Anonymous

It was a night no Mexican would ever forget (until they saw George Lopez). In hopes of destroying the crazy Mexicans once and for all, Grape Sausage Man was sent out in the middle of a Taco Bell, where most Mexicans spend their time from 12:30 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. The crazy Mexicans were unprepared for the attack, and soon 12 were killed by Sausagey Savior. However, the Affirmed Secret Society of Crazy Under-Privilledged Mexicans (otherwise known as "ASS CUM") was shortly deployed, and GSM's attack was slightly delayed by their Burrito Bash attacks. Finally, GSM regained consciousness, to find himself in some sort of farm. It was no doubt the Janitor's Closet of the Taco Bell. After fighting through hundreds of mutated cows and pigs, he found himself inside Crazy Mexican territory, but snuck his way out by creating a diversion which involved some salsa and a jalapeno pepper (don't ask about details). He was again able to attack, and fought through a couple of Mexicans, before being struck in the face by a spicy taco. It was hot. GSM ran outside to dunk his tongue into the river, but the entrance was blocked by George Lopez, who was quite mustachioed. GSM had no choice but to spend the night trapped in enemy territory.

The next day, the spicyness left an aftertaste in GSM's mouth, slowing down his attack. The ASSCUM attacked once again, throwing hundreds of pounds of beefy pork into GSM's eyes. He was instantly blinded. After washing his eyes thoroughly with Oxi-Clean for about an hour, he was once again pulled into battle, but he was weak. The Mexicans had quadrupled in number since the last night, and he was soon outnumbered. He took out about twenty before the night fell.

After three days of such fighting (details have been lost to George Lopez history), GSM was weakened very badly, and he had to sit down. This was the worst possible move he could have done. The crazy Mexicans pounded him with burritos, tacos, tortillas, quaesadillas, George Lopezs, and beef. GSM was as good as dead, until Carlos Mencia walked in. Now, he was f*cked. GSM was down for the count, and due to the five second rule, was exterminated immediately.

Crazy Mexicans vs. Chuck Norris[edit]

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Basically Chuck Norris was given some bargain grape jelly and a supreme McTaco, and he joined the Mexicans, but he was burned by the hotsauce.

But... but... but...[edit]

I know. You just lost fifty bucks to that guy you met at the strip club. How inconvenient?


Crap indeed sonny.

Why are these sections so short?[edit]

Mahm mahm mahm mahm mahm mahm... euhhhhh.... What was that? These tacos are godddd... Oh did I say god? I meant -- ffffffff...fffffFFffFFFFFFFfffffFFFFFFFFfffFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffffff...

What's that smell?[edit]

I didn't fart just now. Seriously.