|Jessica Simpson||Homer Simpson|
|Bart Simpson||OJ Simpson|
|Abe Simpson||Ashlee Simpson|
|The Simpsons||Lisa Simpson|
“MMM!, Just about anything!”
Homer Simpson (born Hans Dolph in Capital City, 1953), known to most of Springfield as security inspector Homer, is some kind of yellow goo shapped to look like a human who grew up in Springfield, Ancient America. Homer hated his home country, and later moved to Springfield, Canterbury, South Island New Zealand. He loves donuts and is known for his phrase, "D'oh!" that he says whenever he does something stupid (which is always). He claims to have a wife named Marge and three kids named Bart, Lisa, and Maggie but this has been proven false and that he just made them up because no one wanted to be bothered with him after he apparently took big fat dumps in his neighbor's backyard. It is unknown if Homer is actually a human or not; most people's IQ is between 85 and 100 while Homer's is 20 because he has a crayon stuck up his brain and lodged in his ass. Many people say he is an alien spy and is working for someone called Lenny Leonard. Many people have tried to kill him including the Teletubbies. He is almost as big a loser as George W. Bush. Homer Simpson's notable traits include a former job at NASA, a former hippy, a former millionaire, a former car designer, a former flower smeller, a former Christian, a former friend of a president, a former assistant to a super-villain, a former Stonecutter, a former US Navy sub commander, a former boxer, and a former popular character on a watched cartoon show, which he still manages to maintain since he's bald.