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In the beginning, God created the animals, and then he created Adam. He assigned Adam the task to name the animals. He did so faithfully but, after a while, he got bored and lonely, and, one night while with one of the creatures he had named, his carnal instincts finally got the best of him. God was displeased, and to punish him, he knocked Adam into a coma, ripped out one of his ribs, and fashioned Eve out of it. Through this, Adam was able to have sex with himself, and God saw that it was good.
Much later, after the world was populated via extraordinary amounts of incest, God's attention came to the town of Sodom. He noticed that men there were having sex with other men, rather than with themselves. This angered God greatly, partly because he was tired of being racist and sexist, but mostly because he wanted some of the action, who proceeded to destroy the town. Except for that one bitch he turned into salt for peeking. And so, to this day, homosexuality has remained a sin (unless God is one of the people involved); the Bible declared that sex is something to be done with one's siblings, children, or wife.