Hutz
The Hutz[edit]
This moustache should only be grown or applicated by Eastern European men. To embody 'hutz'ness, it must be brown and it must have a 45 degree curl at both ends. Many who have tried to grow this moustache claimed to have woken up swearing in multiple combinations of Eastern European languages.
Eugene Hutz said that this kind of moustache grows best when you pour vodka all over your body, set yourself on fire, and run in the general direction of up. "Up" can be found by determining the direction that is opposite the pull of gravity.