Ice Cube

From Encyclopædia Dæmonica
Jump to: navigation, search
For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Ice Cube.
A Rare photograph of a cube of ice

Ice cubes are a solid blocks of water found in cold beverages. In the past, warm people had to use huge chunks of frozen tundra, hand-imported from Antarctica, which caused a lot of hernias. Ice Cube is a physicist and geologist who started an ice cube empire in Compton, near the unused section of Canada and started manufacturing ice. Today, Ice Cube owns 356,987,389.7π ice factories, which produce 35,789 Brazillian tons of ice daily.

Another possible portrait of Ice Cube ( the person ). This may also possibly be a picture of Ice Cube's inventions, ice cubes. Oh baby!

Ice Cube, the founder of the industry, has ordered Compton ( where the ice is made ) to be maintained at a constant temperature of -131 degrees Celsius so that his ice cubes can be easily manufactured. But Snoop Dogg and Tupac didn't like it, because they always got goosebumps on their necks whenever they try to ride through Compton. Furthermore, the massive ice cube industries in Compton have also caused great resistance from George W. Bush, who had to wear sunblock lotion, super UV-resistant sunglasses, and swimsuits to prevent himself from getting freezed up every time he visited the city.

Remember that people used to import their ice cubes from Antarctica? Well, this caused great economic hardship among the penguins in Antarctica and caused the Penguin Armies of Doom to make the ice cube factory a priority for their attacks on the northern parts of Earth in 2030.

Ice Cube also begun an acting career in 3095, with his debut in boyz in the hood, a story about kids who cant spell that wear hoods. Then he was in the oscar winning Friday trilogy, which many of its fanboyz live and die by friday. (not to be confused with star wars fans)

Therefore Ice Cube becomes very popular among the Washington, DC ghetto teenagers due to his already mentioned successful acting career and his being a successful tycoon in the ice cube industry. Furthermore Ice Cube who has been endowed with a great talent of triple-x-ing, takes the pseudonym of 2 Vin 2 Diesel and immediately starts fighting undercover neo-nazi generals, criminal Russian mafias and other arriving by chance avalanches.

By 3166 Ice Cube has received 6 Nobel prizes for peace and 15 Nobel prizes for economics, and 3634 prizes for making ice cubes available to ice-loving Americans ( thanks to Ice Cube, they now like to drink iced beverages for no reason at all, even in chilly weather ). Ice Cube has also won much praise and sopprt from his fellow Compton friends, but penguins have remained his enemies and haters ever since ice cube factories forced the feathery ice diggers out of their jobs.

Also know for his appearence on The Mars Volta's 2009 release "Ice Cube The Chubby". The Cube played a large part in taking up the entire album cover with his oversised semi-human body. Also you can notice that in the lyrics book bundled with the CD there are comments from the fatso ( Ice Cube ). He states: "Its not my fault I'm fat, foo' it's just how my mamma raised me." The Mars Volta replied to this statement by saying: "If your fat it's your own fault. Ever heard of diet and excercise?".

Ice cube, was once in a movie about this knob; from bed knobs and brom fannies. The movie was a dramatized version of the events of Alberty square on the Christmas Special where Ian Bill, and Melanie ( Tamzin Outhwaite, you know the one from that new hotel drama on BBC 2 ) BBC 1 fucking sucks! neways so Ian Bill being the Capalist he is ( ain't nutin rong wit that by the way! ) bagged the snow as soon as it settled on Alberty Square, which meant the poor little smarteenies culdnt play in it. Ian Bill took that snow, and he took that with as much taking force he could mustar from those pathectic excuses for arms, although in a fight he could probably kick the shit out of me, but I'd waiting with a bat or club of sum description,( You know sumting like a chair leg, or a butt of a gun; actually if guns have butts does that mean that they can partake in certain acts of male fanny pleasure? ( please reply if possible ) ). It would be so cool! But yeah Ian Bill took that snow and built a snowman, then a snooker table, and a mighty fine one it was. But then it struck him, a television had just fell on his head! Whilst recovering in hospital a sexy young nurse who reguarly bathed his wounds, said "Ian thatbitch Melanie has left you ah huh, and I think that you should start a Ice Cube bussiness in Alberty Sqare!"

"Ice Cube" is also a derogatory term for someone of Icelandic and Cuban decent.

My mommy told me he was a bad bad man... That I shouldn't listen to his devilish music. She was right. Now I'm a lawyer.