Isræl

From Encyclopædia Dæmonica
Jump to: navigation, search


Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Isræl.
The Isræli flag
The Cat of Judah

Matzah.jpg


Jewtopia or otherwise known by its official name, The Schmenklic Empire of Jewistan (Hebrew: ישראל, Yiddish: יאעסרעאעעייל, English: The Kike Reich. American: Foreign Aid Black Hole, Arabic: Palestine) is the only gay nightclub in the Middle East, run by Vin Diesel. It is commonly referred to as "the friendliest place on Earth" and is well known for the army-techno outfit of its bouncers. It is in fact so popular that a number of entrances are required to co-ordinate the club-goers. The dress code, through a stroke of trendy genius, comprises of sandals and a Yamulka as the only requirement. These are known as checkpoints, and the queues are especially long on the side of the Philistines, few of whom are admitted to the established arts venue.

A 1980s spin-off of Fabric in London, it has attracted Poles, Russians and Germans especially among other party-goers. It is the sister-club of Golder's Green in North London, England, and Brooklyn in New York. A favorite theme night is Demolition!!!, where groups of industrial Kibbutz owners drive Caterpillar tractors. Another favorite night is Blow-UP!!, where members fill condoms with helium, and float them over all the middle east, just to piss them off. Israel is often described by Actors as the promised land Israel was big for drag racing in the 1960s, when the manager was the world-renowned drag racer Mother Teresa.