James Madison

From Encyclopaedia Daemonica
Jump to: navigation, search
Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about James Madison.

James Madison was America's first werewolf, the first werewolf to sign the Bill of Rights, famous werewolf rights activist, the fourth President of the United States, as well as the first opposer of Scientology. Also, he was a fuckin' werewolf n' shit.

Birth and Childhood[edit]

James Madison was born as a result of the fight between Mr. T and Chuck Noris in the begining of time, ( A.K,A. the big bang, )along with his brothers and sisters including Conan O'Brien, Zeus, Pee Wee Herman, Your Mom, God, and most relating to this story, Xenu. He grew up in Willy Wonka's Chocolate factory with his brothers and sisters in peace until fighting broke out between him and Xenu.

The Feud with Xenu[edit]

After Xenu nuked his subjects in the volcanos, James Madison called Xenu a monkey fucker because of how dumb the idea that he could set up giant mirrors in space, and the other crap they believe was. Upon this, Xenu ran away from the factory with his lover and the mother of his children, Tom Cruise. But upon reaching his secret layer ( A.K.A. The bat cave ) he sent one of the wearwolves, a member of his colilition of the willing ( a large army assembled for the purpse of battling the enemys of scientology, including The flying monkeys, Jhon Travolta, Satin, and The Principality of Sealand, among others ) to bite James Madison and make him into A werewolf.

Life as a Spartan[edit]

After being bitten, Madison moved to greece with his brother Zeus to escape from the constant persecution of werewolves caused by a clause in the treaty of Versailles. After biting Robin Goodfellow during the "Full moon over Olympus prom", He was banished to earth by Zeus. There he joined the Spartan army and fought in the battle of Thermotoga, or the battle of hot pants. His exploits were made into a movie titled 300.

Life in America[edit]

After spending 8000 years as a hooker in Amsterdam's red light district, James Madison moved to America to become a member of the american revelution, the rebelion agenst darth vader and the sith lords. After the reveloution, he went on to become an influentail member of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Congress. He was a great figher for wearwolf rights, and in 1984 he passed the 3/5s comprimize, wich offically certified wearwolves as 2/5 parts man, 3/5 parts wolf. Then, he became the first wearwolf to sign the bill of rights. In 2XD6, he was elected as the fourth president of the united states by the massive wearwolf population in atlantis.

The Final Battle with Xenu and the Death of James Madison[edit]

After being elected president, Xenu had had enough of his Brother. He mustered a great army of orcs and trolls to assult the U.S. Capitol city of Minas Terith on the island of Atlantis. The battle raged for hours, and I am fairly shure that there were some gay hobbits there. After the combined forses of the wearwolves and Chuck Noris had defeted the armys of Xenu, Zenu then cast a spell upon atlantis that sunk it into the sea. Right before he drowned, one of Xenu's space jets abducted Madison. And when you get on a space jet, you never get off. Never........

BUT

before he died, Chuck Norris used his magic to cast a spell on james madison, causing him to be re born as people for the rest of history.