Jedi

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Jedi.


You don't need to see my identification.

~ Luke Skywalker on getting into BDSM clubs

In Soviet Russia, Jedi Code Breaks YOU!!

~ Yakov Smirnoff on Jedi

With Tamia, the brain is not!

~ Yoda

Jedi Order[edit]

The Jedi order is a controversial type of ordering method. The only difference between a Jedi Order and a normal Mail Order is aesthetic but man, people have take order with the method, but they tend to have very boring lives and have nothing better to complain about.
Remeber there is nothing wrong with placing a Jedi Order, just as there is nothing wrong with shoving batteries up a mouse's rectum in the hopes that you can move your computer pointer around.

Pre Battle Phase[edit]

The Jedi Order involves going to your local mailbox and staring it down. The staring down will range form 10 - 31 minutes as you and the mailbox "Sense Eachother's Lightsaber Force and Binural Resonance Endothermic Armature Sensory Topogram Exam" also know as SELF BREAST Exam. After you have SELF BREAST Examined the mailbox and it to you, the monologueing begins. During the monologue phase you will try to out speak the mailbox by making your next slew of words as epic as possible. There is however a fine line of how much meaning your words have, too much and it will simply become boring as hell and too little will begin to sound like you are crazy for monologueing to mailboxes.

Battle Phase[edit]

At this phase you will draw your Light Envelope ( Under two pounds ) and attept to stab it into the mailbox. The mailbox is a tricky foe. It can use its force powers to make sure a thick sheet of ice is infront of it, even when all other ice in the neighborhood melted that morning. Also it can heat it's metal or ( contrary to popular belief ) plastic skin to the point of buring you. However with stead hands and feet and the information you gained from the SELF BREAST Exam you will more than likely complete your Jedi Order.


Famous Jedi Orders[edit]

  1. Samuel Jackson ordering a foot ball helmet sliced the top off of his 54n60 f377 mailbox
  2. Darth Earl Jones ordering a pair of gloves took off the arm of his mailbox

See Also[edit]