Jesus Hitler

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Not Your Buddy Jesus.jpg

Jesus Christ! It's Jesus Hitler, here to take his revenge on the Jews!

~ Satan on Jesus Hitler

The Beginning[edit]

Jesus Hitler is God incarnate, sent to Earth to exterminate the remaining Jews. He was born in Gaskell, Normandy in 1941 and was brought up in a bag. When he was 16 he dropped out of school without any qualifications. Following his girlfriend's constant talk of her ex-boyfriends' skills in the bedroom he started learning to fellate. When it became clear that his enormous teeth would always be a bar him from becoming proficient in oral sex, he instead dedicated his life to the fine art of tartmaking.

As everyone does, Jesus Hitler made mistakes in the kitchen. One of these was World War II. A mistake in ingredients caused a global war and killed six million Jews, who knew of him but refused to recognize his skills in the kitchen.

The Middle[edit]

Jesus Hitler dancing with a cat that He just unhuffed

Now Jesus Hitler is the author of a few tart cookbooks ( his first, How to Do Tarts, was published in 1957 ); he has also worked as a columnist ( Sunday Borscht ( 1969 ) and the Evening Fucktard ( 1972 - 84 ) ) and has his own tart cookery shows on Cable, Satellite and Transwarp. He places quite a bit of importance on tart tins and cooking with them, whilst stressing tart-oriented basics - Zyklon B, large ovens and other equipment, methods and ingredients.

Apart from being a cook, he is also a big fan of WWE, and a proficient klog dancer.

The End[edit]

Jesus Hitler celebrating His Resurrection

According to Biography.com the noun and adjective "Hitler" was added to the 2001 edition of the Collins English Dictionary because it had passed into everyday useage.

Further Ingredients[edit]

A symbol used by His followers

See Also[edit]